the happy heart and soul

Discovering reasons to smile

Dealing with My Blues- Bodyshaming

Dealing with My Blues- Bodyshaming

Hello! Beautiful people out there , thanks for visiting my page. And in case you are visiting me accidentally or you dont know me then let me tell you that till now I have been writting mostly beauty and fashion posts. But here I am going to talk about one of my Blues, yes Bodyshaming is only one of them, I have many other blues too which I will talk about in my later posts.

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So, I have been facing bodyshaming since my childhood days, when I wasnt even aware of a term like this. But the only difference was that–that time I Was not fatshamed rather skinnyshamed. Yeah! u read it right . I was termed as a malnourished, stick-thin, single – bone and all other hindi slangs you can imagine of for a thin girl. I hardly took part in any outdoor sports during my school days as people use to tell me I am too light- weight and could be easily blown away by wind. I understand that it was a sarcasm but that time the little kid in me didnt understood and it started believing that it cant run.

If someone would bully me , all I could think about was to complain about him to teacher or to his parents or in worst case my parents but never to hit him back even with words because I was made to believe that anyone can just kill me even with a slap! It took a great toll on my confidence. Though I was an above average student but I will hardly raise my hands to answer the teacher’s question even though I knew the answer. The new teachers used to know about me only after they see my marks in 1st term answer sheets.

Life went on like this.. I kept on crying, when I was hurted the most.I kept on praying to God that please make me healthy and plump so that I can answer to all those bullying me. God was late but he heard me finally. I moved to a new city for my graduations and was staying in a PG. I started getting pocket money and the PG food forced me to spend that pocket money on outside foods. Well, I cant say whether It was the Food, or hormonal changes or environmental changes..whatever ! but I changed. I started gaining weight and gained my confidence.

Now Life I was little different for me. People started appreciating me..my personality. And I didnt kept on walking with heads-down in case of bullying or eve-teasing or any such thing rather I stopped and bashed them and it was like..They shocked! I rocked! But nothing lasts in life forever, not even this lasted. other than this change, a lot was happening in my personal life. There was a time I went into depression and started using sleeping pills and it reacted like death to me. I got allergic bronchitis which later on became a full- fledged Asthama. My life was running on Budacart and Asthalin.So by the time I left that city and moved on to a new city for my post graduations, I was facing a new kind of bodyshaming- Fat shaming!

And the obvious things happenned with me. Suddenly I started getting uncountable well wishers who used to pass on new techniques of Fat loss and then some friends who used to think that some people in girls hostel are skinny because people like me eat their food.Unfortunately, this is the most celebrated Indian logic when they find a skinny and a plump girl together.And along with this I was even body shamed for my skin colour. I still remenber the day when a company from Hyderabad visited us for internship placement and we among friends were discussing about our probability. And then a guy told me you will be definitely selected because you look so south -Indian. And by that he meant my skin colour and weight. Today when I think back, I feel so pitty for that ‘frog in the well’ and feel like inviting him to see the beauty of this southern part of India where I find so much more sensible people than him.208544_1003786327992_4392_n1.jpg26183_1358723521200_2663006_n

Time flies..and I also flew to a new city after my placement and by this time I had stopped believing that I can look beautiful. Yeah I didnt stopped trying new dresses and putting on some lipstick and Kajal( I knew only these 2 as make-up). Unfortunately! it was a fake placement and had to come back to my hometown. and with some struggle, I got a new job in my hometown itself.

Though it was not my dreamjob or something which I was interested in but it really enhanced me as a person. It was a marketing job and it exposed me to a lot of different kinds of people. I met a lot of good people who were least bothered about my appearance and really appreciated me for my work and knowledge. Initially, I was the only female employee there but I gelled well with my colleagues. I forgot that stereotype thinking of Men and Women rather we appreciated each other as good human beings. And the fact was that I was turning into a tomboy who was careless about her appearance, rather I was focussing more on the professional aspect.

 

Okay Folks! So here I am today and might have gained even more. Life has changed too much and it has changed me even more but the only thing is that it has changed me for better. A lot has happenned with me including marriage, a new job, childbirth , a c-section, a hectic lifestyle, Thyroid, PCOS, An injured leg BUT I really feel I have become a better human being now. No…No!! I am not skipping anything , I would definitely tell you how I got married and whether my weight was an issue or not?( yes! I can still find those “SLIM, Tall, Fair ” ads in newspaper) currently ,I have a lot to write but you might be having less time to read. So I will definitely come with a part -II.

For the time being I just want to say Life is already tough. We have Natural calamities, poverty, Illiteracy, rape, murder, terrorism,Physical disability,natural death, loss, theft and some other evils including IT and GST but We can definitely try to be kind to each other. Just before you ask someone to take Protein-rich food , make sure he has enough money to afford those, when you ask someone to go for a gym, think whether he has enough time/money for gym. Before you suggest a crop-top to a person struggling with belly-fat and stretch marks, put yourself in her shoes and feel what she has been feeling all these years whenever she stands before a full-size mirror.When you ask someone to try a certain fairness cream, make sure you have tried that on your face when it was dark and it has made you fair. When you laugh on someone’s double chin,make sure that you know enough about Thyroid, Goitre and any such thing and When you point a finger on someone’s flaws, make sure that you are a flawless, perfect person but that ain’t possible because a perfect person never laugh on others’ flaws.

Disclaimer: By writting all this,I dont mean to promote Obesity, Anorexia, Zero figure or any unhealthy lifestyle rather I myself advocate a healthy lifestyle . I just wanted to say when a person is fat or skinny , he is already aware of it . And its possible to a great extent that they are working on it. Things might not work in their favour . We know everyone has different body type and every body type reacts differently to different things. You never know what that person has been going through so please dont humiliate anyone for this.

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